Spending Yom Kippur day at home is especially hard. It doesn’t feel spiritual, it’s a long day of entertaining little kids, and you’re also fasting. It’s hard, but there are some things you can do in advance to hopefully make things go a little smoother.

Make sure to read this letter especially for you – a mother staying home with her kids.

Tips for independent play

Swap toys with a neighbor or friend so you each have something new and exciting to play with. And if you have a current favorite, put it away right now to bring out later.

If you will buy a new toy, choose something that extends or adds on to play that they already enjoy. For more ideas, download this free guide to choosing a toy your child will love.

Which item does your child currently play with right now?

How can you extend or add upon their play?

If your child loves…. Consider adding…

• Baby doll → add stroller or a different occasion outfit
• Magnetic tiles → add specialty pieces like stairs, ball run, animal pieces or trains
• Small vehicles or match cars → add a road or street signs
• Animals → add craft trees, rocks, or aquarium accessories for habitats

How can you transform their play to the next level, so they can create more advanced or alternate scenarios?

Building with blocks can turn into pretend play. For wooden blocks, just add small trees, houses and cars; for Duplo, compatible figurines, animals, and vehicles.

Print inspiration images from online for builds like Lego or magnetic tiles.

Create an “invitation to play” by setting up a quick scene that demonstrates some of the new possibilities and inspires more play. Bonus if you leave it for them to find in the morning and gain some extra sleep! 

Put toys out after they go to bed, in general!

Free and homemade: incorporate real household items! Empty spice jars and utensils in the toy kitchen, a newborn diaper for the baby doll, or a necklace for dress up all make play interesting.

Easy meal ideas

Once a year, I let all my supper rules slide (we usually sit down with real plates and cutlery, and eat real meals) and focus on preparing finger-friendly kid foods. Like fish sticks – I don’t usually love to serve those, but they’re perfect for the kids to help themselves to.

I want foods that:

• Can be prepared in advance (dump straight on the table from the fridge)
• Are self-serve and easily accessible – requiring minimal package opening or cutting
• Can be eaten independently – without cutting pieces or spooning yogurt

Make sure to leave water as well (in a bottle, an accessible pitcher or filter with a cup, or any other system that works).

Breakfast ideas:

• Yogurt squeezy
• “Special” yogurt (can be add-ins to regular yogurt, a flavor you don’t usually buy, etc)
• Yogurt bars

Lunch or supper:

• Cholent
• Fish sticks
• Rice cakes – tuna, cream cheese, jam
• Challah roll sandwiches – cream cheese, tuna, egg salad
• Schnitzel
• Cold cuts
• Cooked pasta
• Franks in blanks
• Charcuterie snacking board (basically, plate everything you have)

Snacks to prepare in the fridge:

• String cheese
• Apple slices (with their honey dish)
• Cucumber slices 
• Watermelon, cut up
• Fruit, cut up
• Hard boiled eggs 
• Healthy muffins

Box with a ration of approved snacks prepared:

• Raisins
• Applesauce pouches
• Shelled pistachios
• Pretzels
• Fruit leather
• Veggie straws
• Granola or Kind bar
• 1 junky or special treat snack bag per kid

Things to make food fun:

• Egg slicer
• Cocktail picks or fancy toothpicks for fruit
• Cute or special napkins or small plates
• Disposable sectional platter, for fruits or veggies
• Dips – hummus, yogurt, pesto

Keep perspective

Yom Kippur is solemn, but it’s not sad. It’s a Yom Tov like any other: a special, even joyous day on our Jewish calendar. Our children should love celebrating it! Let them wear their nice clothes, play with cool toys and get special treats. Let them love Yom Kippur (even if you’re kind of dreading it)!

Find pockets for prayer

So you won’t make it to shul and sit through a service for hours. But… can you steal a moment, here and there, to tune into the day?

• Daven Maariv on Yom Kippur night, after the kids are in bed and when you still have energy because the fast just started
• Sing your favorite tefilos during the day, even if your hands are busy
• Use your own words, especially when your toddler cries and you want to join in, to pray informally
• Remember that Hashem can hear you from your couch or living room floor!
• Focus on fasting, which is the actual mitzvah of the day. Don’t use up your energy (and limited patience for the kids) trying to focus on the Machzor if it makes you feel weaker.

No time, or no inspiration, to daven at all? Don’t feel guilty. (Keep reading…)

Embrace your new role

While everyone sits in shul and reads about the service of the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur… you are actually living it. The jobs of the kohanim were basically housework: sweeping ashes, polishing silver, mopping floors. The mundane stuff that you’re doing is crucial to the running of your mini Bais Hamikdash. And like the kohanim, your every act is a service to Hashem.

Read more about redefining your new role here.

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